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To say Carnival exceeded every expectation would be understating it. They did an absolutely phenomenal job making us feel at home and anticipating our every need even before we did ourselves.

We left San Diego, CA on 3 September 2009 around 4pm. I had always heard good things about cruises but didn’t know it would be as great as it was. When we first arrived on board we went up to Deck 9 to Drama Bar to hang out and meet other people while they prepared our state room.

We were amazed that there was an on-board Casino and a bar that had every drink you could imagine. There was also wifi and mobile phone service on the whole boat, although it was a bit pricey. Mobile phone service followed $6.99 a minute to the United States and $9.99 per minute to the rest of the world. Internet was $0.75 per minute or $24 for one hour.

After a while we got bored hanging out in Drama Bar (there wasn’t enough drama yet) so we went exploring the rest of the ship for a few hours.

This was deck 11 on the back of the ship while still docked in San Diego. There were a lot of seagulls around on the ship in San Diego and they followed us all the way out past Point Loma, enjoying swooping down and around the waves the boat was making in the water.

Here was one such seagull up on deck 11 by one of the adult jaccuzis and the sporting area (where the net is). Not long after this, we went down to our room to unload our stuff and then were called back upstairs for an emergency evacuation drill. The evacuation drill was the most boring time of our whole trip, but better safe than sorry.

Here are both of us in the Cole Porter lounge chillaxing during the evacuation drill. We were in lifeboat “E”. After this we went back up on Deck 11 to take some pictures, capturing the beauty that is San Diego and also getting a workout since we had climbed up and down about 50 flights of stairs (no exaggeration) by now. It is true that you eat a lot on a cruise, but you also work it off with all the stairs.

It felt really good to be out on deck with the nice breeze as hot and humid as it was in San Diego on embarkment day.

After going all the way out of the Point Loma Channel we went and got some drinks at the Lido Bar which had 3 amazing badtenders and an even more amazing barback named Kishore. There were two Thai bartenders and one Croatian bartenders and then Kishore who is Indian. They met out every need and gave us tons of awesome information about both the Elation and Cabo San Lucas.

Next we went to our room and got dressed for dinner which was a bit more formal than our running around clothes. Our waiter was named Elder and he’s from Honduras. He was absolutely amazing too! The dinner was five star every night and it was weird but nice not to have to worry about paying for it since it was included in the cruise.

Here is the shrimp appetizer that my Mom got.

Here is the cornfed chicken dinner that I got.

This was my Mom’s BBQ ribs.

This was the low fat / low carb orange cake that had FULL flavor.

This is the chocolate melting cake which was like partially cooked brownies and was sinfully amazing.

I also had a duck appetizer that is not pictured. It was amazing too. It was pieces of melon and cold duck breast.

When we came back from dinner our Steward Paul had already turned down our beds and put mints on our pillows. He also made us a stingray towel animal. Paul is another amazing person that Carnival is fortunate to have.

I didn’t sleep that well because our room was kinda hot and my Mom snores a lot…but oh well I lived. Apparently I woke her up snoring too, this makes me appreciate having my own room (and own thermostat) at home.

The next day was our “fun day at sea” and it was indeed fun. The only part that wasn’t fun is that we had these dumb bitches across from us, they were totally your all American dumb blonde sorority bitches (the unfriendly kind) who had fugly, rude, obnoxious, fat, rude boyfriends who probably only got these girls because the girls are secretly insecure. This reminds me of this girl I used to work with named who was super pretty and had this fat ugly loser boyfriend that she supported financially and only kept around because she was too insecure to think she could get another boyfriend. Anyway all of that aside, these losers were making so much noise, screaming out their doors from one room to another, playing loud music, etc. We could hear them 3 halls down from our room. I guess a few people called security on them (including us) and when security came the dumb bitches were drunk so they were fighting with security when asked to quiet down. The security guard was this kind little Indian guy that the dumb bitches totally were rude to. Anyway, in the end he told them they would either stop or find their own way home from Cabo. So they were quiet the rest of the trip until the last night.

They have a European style coffee shop on board with a sweet little Chinese barista. She was amazing, very interesting to talk to and knew my drink after the first time I ordered it. She gave us a lot of great information about China and about visiting it.

This was also the day that I decided to try my hand at gambling. It turns out that I suck and I juts lost a bunch of money.

This was me playing Blackjack. It was $5 a pop and I won about $20 but then lost it again.

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

My Mom was actually doing good playing slots.

A bit to the left in this picture is another group of testosterone driven frat boy bitches who were trying to fight each other to prove their masculinity. The security staff was having none of it and was about to take them to the brig.

Here I was having a Stella Artrois on deck 12. Notice my Mom’s famous iced tea to the right.

After this we watched the sunset and then got ready for dinner.

Here we are in the elevator for formal night heading down to the Inspiration dining room.

Here was more seasonal melon with proschuto.

This night I ordered two dinners because it was both lobster and prime rib night and I love both about equally.

Here was prime rib with baked potato and onion rings.

Here was twin lobster tails and jumbo prawns. The lobster and shrimp were both excellent!

After dinner we went up on deck 12 where they have a jogging track and miniature golf.

It was really windy up there.

Here is the moon casting its light on the ocean. It was so bright that it looked like the sun. My Astronomical knowledge says that this is a waxing gibbous (nearly full) since it came out before midnight. It is scary that I know that.

Here is one of the poolside bars where I went to get soda. Very nice bartenders here too.

Here was the Lido deck pool area at night. It was calm and peaceful in the tropical Mexican ocean.

Here is my Momma chillaxing in a pool chair.

Tonight Paul made us a bunny towel animal. It looks kinda evil but it’s the thought that counts.

I slept better this night.

The next day was Cabo so we had to wake up early and then line up to take a Tender to shore. That is basically a little boat because the Cruise ship is too big to dock in the Cabo San Lucas Marina.

In a way it was a bit sad how Americanized Cabo was. Everyone spoke English, they had Subway, Dairy Queen, Hooters, Hard Rock Cafe, etc. It’s Mexico, they should have cabanas on the beach, tequila and Mexican food. They shouldn’t have to speak English either, we don’t speak Spanish for Mexican tourists coming to the United States. But oh well.

This is the day that I went parasailing, which was truly amazing. You feel weightless and free in the air. You can’t hear anything, it is completely silent up there. You’d think you’d hear rushing wind, but it is completely silent.

I was up there for a good 10 to 12 minutes and our guides had it down to a science. They hardly even seemed to pay attention they were so naturally good at what they did. They knew exactly which direction to turn the boat, how to get me up higher or lower using the wind, etc. We also got a great view of Los Arcos and World’s End.

We also saw a Sealion colony. I never realized that Sealions lived so far south, I thought that they were like Arctic and Antarctic animals.

After this we went back into Cabo, went shopping, ate lunch and drank…way too much.

I also smoked a Cuban Cigar which didn’t taste all that wonderful but it was great to try one since they are illegal in the United States. Not many Americans can say they have had Cuban Cigars.

By the time this picture was taken, I had way too much to drink and don’t remember anything after this. The whole time we were there I had 7 Coronas, 2 Sol, 2 shots of Don Julio, 2 shots of El Jimador, 2 shots of Jose Cuervo Especial, 2 shots of Patron Silver and 2 shots of Cabo Wabo Blanco. I also had a margarita and pina colada.

I vaguely remember stumbling to the bathroom to go pee and then stumbling back. I don’t remember the rest but my Mom told me about it. I guess we went to the Cabo Duty Free store to look at alcohol and cologne. I bumped into this lady hard who sighed at me and then stumbled the other way and almost knocked over a display of perfume. My Mom drug me outside by my ear and told me to stand against the wall and not move. She went back inside to apologize to the lady who I bumped into. She then realized that it was my childhood dentist Minchie. They then hugged and were all happy to see each other. After that they both helped me onto the Tender back to the Elation. Right when we got off I fell on my ass right in front of Mexican Customs. My Mom somehow got me to the room, got my glasses off and I woke up like 4 hours later not remember anything since I had gone to the bathroom.

I slept through dinner and all of the shows and everything. Then I had a bad headache and went to get some soda and water and food at the casual restaurant on the ship. We had sandwiches and calazone and then went to the Lido deck for dancing, mexican food, more drinks and an awesome DJ.

The next day (Sunday) was another day at sea. We woke up, went to breakfast, I still felt a bit weird from all the tequila (no hang over though) and we played bingo and did a slot tournament. We both lost the tournament but it was still fun. I also played some video poker which I wasn’t so bad at. We had some martinis too which were great, a lemondrop and a tiramisu martini.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, we ate another great dinner and then watched the sunset.

We had French Onion Soup and Tomato with Mozzarella Salad.

I had Veal Parmasagna.

My Mom had some kind of chicken dish.

For desert she had tropical fruit platter.

We shared gouda cheese.

Here is Baked Alaska desert.

Here is us in the elevator going back from dinner.

Here is the beautiful sunset. It was very cold and windy outside, definitely back toward San Diego from the warm tropical Mexican waters.

In the morning we will be back to San Diego and ready to disembark and go through customs. All in all this was an amazing vacation and one of the most memorable that I have ever taken in my life.

My turn ons: all the food, the beauty of Cabo, lots of tequila, parasailing, pretty birds, nice helpful Mexicans in Cabo, amazing staff.

My turn offs: dumb loud rude bitches down the hall, rude Americans, Americans in general, the professional shopper on board our ship was very haughty and rude to us, various pushy street people in Cabo trying to sell us stuff.

This trip showed me a lot of different cultures as hardly anyone on board the ship was American. Most of the cooks were Indian, most of the wait staff were Asian (specifically Filipino, Thai and Indonesian), European and Thai bartenders and lots of South African and Australian staff. They were so nice and pleasant, helpful, kind and went above and beyond to assist us. The only staff member that I had a complaint about was the “destination shopper” (professional shopper familiar with the Mexican riviera) because she was very haughty, uppity and rude when we asked her questions. She was a bit more friendly in the city of Cabo San Lucas but still nothing like the other people on the ship.

I talked to Kishore the barback for a long time and he gave me a lot of information about working for Carnival. I would love to be the resident DJ for Carnival and travel the world while getting paid for it. I need to get back home and hit the turntables and practice a bit more.

Thank you for an amazing holiday Carnival! We look forward to booking another cruise.